One of the hardest things to deal with when a loved one dies because of someone else’s negligence is the fact that they died “out of order”, or sooner than they should have. This is hard to cope with because we have deeply ingrained emotions and beliefs that we and our loved ones will live to a ripe, old age before the sun sets on our lives. And, usually, the definition of “old” gets older the closer you get to it.
In the Tri-Cities, and in the United States, one of the most common ways that a loved one dies sooner than we should expect is through a motor vehicle collision. In fact, accidents, whether vehicular or otherwise, are the third leading cause of death in the United States.
We’ve taken great steps as a society in reducing the number of fatalities from motor vehicle collisions and both the total number of deaths and deaths per 100,000 people have been steadily declining since the 1960’s. But how does this knowledge help you cope with the emptiness that you feel when you have lost someone who has died out of order? It doesn’t, at least not much, but it helps to talk about it. It helps to put words to the life that we are living and to the unexpected death we may be facing. When we put words to our feelings, we are better able to move through the five stages of grief.
Five stages of grief
It’s pretty well accepted that people experience five stages of grief, but not necessarily in the following order: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. What’s less agreed upon is how long those stages will last and how and when we will overcome them.
The American Psychological Association has said that grieving individuals may benefit from the following strategies:
- Talk about the death of your loved one
- Accept your feelings
- Take care of yourself and your family
- Reach out and help others dealing with the loss
- Remember and celebrate the lives of your loved ones
This list is not exhaustive, and you may find other methods of understanding, dealing with, or overcoming grief. Acknowledging the extent of your grief will help you start down the path to coming to terms with your loss.
Hope
Although hope is not discussed in the above five stages of grief, it is acknowledged by many as the invisible thread that runs through them and pulls us forward to a brighter day. Hope, or confidence in the future, is something that is uniquely human. We can pass through the darkest of situations with resolve and determination when we have something to hope for.
At Anderson Law, we hope that anyone who is suffering from the loss of a loved one will be confident in the future. We also hope that we can bring you some measure of peace through our effective representation and diligent work. Although we may not truly understand what you have gone through or are going through, we too have felt the sting of loss, and we know that together we can be stronger.