There’s something so deeply ingrained in us that it seems like no matter how rough life is going at the moment, we’re never really ready to go. We don’t want it to end, yet. I get it. Humans are survivors. And we have hope. Yes, life can throw us curveballs and our best-laid plans can be tossed aside, but there’s always tomorrow.
When country music star Kenny Chesney sang “Everyone wants to go to heaven, but nobody want[s] to go now,” he captured the idea that we just want to live our lives and we don’t want them any shorter than God or Nature want them to be.
Because of Relationships
Every family we’ve ever represented would tell you that the reason people don’t want to go is because of the relationships they have with family and friends. This is the currency of life. Whether the loved one was near or far, or whether old or young, the relationship had real, tangible value to the people who are left behind.
What is the value of those relationships? What is the cost of that which was lost? How can you put a dollar amount on the love between a father and a son? How can you quantify the golden years of a 50-year marriage with a number?
It’s not easy, because each relationship is different. But stories and pictures and plans and dreams help draw the contours around the value of each relationship.
Because of Experiences
Most family members will recount their favorite experiences that they shared with their loved ones before they were taken too soon. But not just the “good” ones. Some of the shared experiences include hard times where things were learned and strength was forged. Some will tell of the experiences that were planned and not had.
How can you place an amount on a missed high school graduation? How do you quantify what it means to miss a birthday or a wedding? Does it tarnish the memory of one you have lost to demand some sort of compensation?
This would be difficult to do under almost any circumstance. That’s one reason you might seek the help of attorneys familiar with what it means to lose a family member unexpectedly due to someone else’s negligence.
Never Really Gone
The reality is that our loved ones are never really gone as long as their memory stays in our hearts. They may be in the stars now, but we feel like we just might see them around the corner.
At least that’s what our heart tells us. We can still hear their laughter as we walk into the house, or step into the backyard, or visit a favorite place. Little reminders may continue to surface at a local restaurants or while visiting a sports stadium. Random smells will trigger the most vivid experiences you have shared together. And each of these reminders are signs that they are never really gone from your heart and from your life.
It turns out that we’re right: we’re never really ready to go, and so we don’t. So, let’s look for opportunities to develop those relationships and to have those experiences that will fill today with smiles and laughter that echo into tomorrow.